This is a photo of the coffee I made myself after Auntie Beeb had left the building.

Pretty, huh?

Some people go for really intricate, clever patterns when they do so-called "Latte Art". Me? I prefer the more entropic approach... hiss, slosh, see what happens. I like to think that the coffees I pour somehow capture the essence of the universe, or at least a fragment of it.

Enough bollocks!

The BBC? What happened, eh?

Well, it was an interesting day. Somewhat contrived, but interesting. The camera crew were on a tight schedule. First off they did some external shots. All very 'who lives in a house like this'. Had I known they'd be doing some kind of outside-inside camera sweep, I'd have cleaned the windows!!!!

Following on from that were stills of our 'art', stills of 'us', videos of us 'looking at' and 'talking about' the art and what it meant to us.

I should point out, for those who accidentally catch the prog (part of the next "Imagine" series on BBC1, airing later this year) we were not allowed any preparation beforehand. We didn't have a clue what they were going to ask. We may well come across as complete no-nothing knobs or giggling schoolgirls. Who can say.

Then onto the interview, which was a range of questions loosely based on what we'd discussed in our original chat with the director. She'd picked up on a few subjects and basically framed questions so that she could stitch together a storyline.

Following on from that, there were more videos of us pointing, looking, laughing etc.

Anywho, at this point, we were supposed to have about half an hour in hand to film me playing Red... which was what I was dreading, somewhat. Didn't happen? Why? Well, during our interview phase we'd alluded to a number of other pieces we'd purchased by relatively unknown artists and they felt that the programme would be best served by including shots of these.

I was off the hook.

Okay, so in some ways I was a bit relieved, but at the same time I kinda wanted to crank Red.

Next stop was the gym. They wanted to film us doing day-to-day stuff and it seems that us 'pumping iron' [cough] would do the trick. Now, here's the thing. Tim. Love him. But he's feisty and playful. Just for shits and giggles, two days before the show he decided to bite me. On my neck. Hickey-ville. This isn't something he would normally do. His timing was impeccable. I'm pretty sure that unless they tastefully edit it out, in the gym shots I'm going to look like I've been savaged by a vampire.

D'Oh!

Can't be helped. The film is in the can. Postprocessing will take 6 weeks. The show will air sometime in the Autumn season.

I'm not confident that we've acquitted ourselves well.

Oh dear.

D'Oh

I picked a bad day to wear my Fender t-shirt.

Wolfgang's Vault On iPhone

So, if you thought the last post was short. Try this on for size! Ages ago I found Wolfgang's Vault, a repository for a buttload of classic concert recordings, posters and so on.

For those of you lucky enough to have an iPhone, search for "Concert Vault" in the App Store. It's only bloody streaming Wolfgang's Vault! Plus, you don't need WiFi. The App senses your current data speed and adjusts the bitrate of the stream accordingly.

I've tried it in a really dodgy 3G area and it worked perfectly. It's also a really nicely designed program. Don't believe me? Check it out here.

Pick It Up... Pick It Up...

PICK IT UP!!!!!

Okay, so I jammed on Red for about an hour on Friday night and I've been strumming my heart out from time to time over the weekend. We have a houseguest at the moment, which complicates matters somewhat, but I'm trying to get my fingers and ears back on the mojo train.

Watch this space (if you have nothing better to do!!!!)

Zero To Hero... To Zero... To Instant Hero!

Right then, here it is.

I've been in a slump. I admit that. I got close to Hero, but recently have been slip-sliding back to Zero. I have a few more miles on the clock, a few more licks in my library. A few more strums down cold.

Now.

On the 20th August of this year, in 16 short days, I will be 40 years old.

Wait, stop clapping. I haven't finished yet.

Coincidentally, on the 20th August of this year, in 16 short days, the BBC are coming round to interview us about our art collection. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, it's part of the BBC1 documentary series "Imagine". Previous guests appearing on the show include David Hockney and Rufus Wainwright.

We're in good company, eh?

No, we're not International Collectors... well, we are, but in a small way. When we see something we really like, in whatever country, we try to find a way to buy it. We've used the Arts Council's Own Art scheme (interest free credit) a couple of times to finance British stuff. Own Art is the focus of the TV show, which is intended to show how the scheme has made art accessible to 'ordinary people' [pah!].

See, here's the thing. To demonstrate how 'ordinary' we are, the crew are going to film us going about our daily lives, doing what we do. They're obviously going to miss out the exciting stuff like podium-dancing and other nocturnal activities. Instead they want to film us at home, at the gym, riding our scooters around with their big red Loser plates. Stuff like that.

Helpful as ever, my Dearest Darling Tim made a point of insisting that as I'm a guitar nut I should play guitar for them. On camera. With sound and everything. They agreed. They're keen.

"You'll be fiiiine..." He says.

"Suuuure..." I reply.

Sixteen days and counting. Best get my Hero back on again!