The Fillmore Five Project

This is a photo of the coffee I made myself after Auntie Beeb had left the building.

Pretty, huh?

Some people go for really intricate, clever patterns when they do so-called "Latte Art". Me? I prefer the more entropic approach... hiss, slosh, see what happens. I like to think that the coffees I pour somehow capture the essence of the universe, or at least a fragment of it.

Enough bollocks!

The BBC? What happened, eh?

Well, it was an interesting day. Somewhat contrived, but interesting. The camera crew were on a tight schedule. First off they did some external shots. All very 'who lives in a house like this'. Had I known they'd be doing some kind of outside-inside camera sweep, I'd have cleaned the windows!!!!

Following on from that were stills of our 'art', stills of 'us', videos of us 'looking at' and 'talking about' the art and what it meant to us.

I should point out, for those who accidentally catch the prog (part of the next "Imagine" series on BBC1, airing later this year) we were not allowed any preparation beforehand. We didn't have a clue what they were going to ask. We may well come across as complete no-nothing knobs or giggling schoolgirls. Who can say.

Then onto the interview, which was a range of questions loosely based on what we'd discussed in our original chat with the director. She'd picked up on a few subjects and basically framed questions so that she could stitch together a storyline.

Following on from that, there were more videos of us pointing, looking, laughing etc.

Anywho, at this point, we were supposed to have about half an hour in hand to film me playing Red... which was what I was dreading, somewhat. Didn't happen? Why? Well, during our interview phase we'd alluded to a number of other pieces we'd purchased by relatively unknown artists and they felt that the programme would be best served by including shots of these.

I was off the hook.

Okay, so in some ways I was a bit relieved, but at the same time I kinda wanted to crank Red.

Next stop was the gym. They wanted to film us doing day-to-day stuff and it seems that us 'pumping iron' [cough] would do the trick. Now, here's the thing. Tim. Love him. But he's feisty and playful. Just for shits and giggles, two days before the show he decided to bite me. On my neck. Hickey-ville. This isn't something he would normally do. His timing was impeccable. I'm pretty sure that unless they tastefully edit it out, in the gym shots I'm going to look like I've been savaged by a vampire.

D'Oh!

Can't be helped. The film is in the can. Postprocessing will take 6 weeks. The show will air sometime in the Autumn season.

I'm not confident that we've acquitted ourselves well.

Oh dear.