What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

Right then, what's going on here?

What is the frequency?

I keep asking myself that question and keep coming up empty. "The Project" was the driving force behind me getting out there, playing with other people, getting in a band, the whole nine yard, and, AND, if I don't finish off this sentence sooner or later I'm going to...

Okay, so the other day Tim said something to me which I took issue with, though, on reflection, there was a core of truth to it.

I mentioned what a cheeky sod Col, over on Axe Victim dot com was for linking here with the tag line: "Kenny’s lame old blog that he can’t be bothered to keep up."

[...you gotta love Col's directness, eh?]

Tim said that he agreed with Col and that the difference between him and me, apart from the CHASM between our ages and waistlines (sorry, Col, couldn't resist!) was that for him, music, playing, writing was a serious business. For me [here comes the sucker punch] it's just a hobby.

Now, I'm a Leo. Whilst I don't subscribe to all that horrorscope (sic) crap, I do admit that I have a bit of a stubborn streak and I don't take criticism well.

[...especially if it's justified]

I don't see it as a hobby. I see it as a path. A path that, recently, I've wandered off. Now I'm staggering around, lost in a desert.

So, at the end of The Project I was in a band, or at least playing with other people. I was having fun. I was starting to feel plugged in. Air was moving. Then along came politics and incompatibilities and it all went to ratshit, as these things do, I'm told.

After that, I decided to take a break from 'other people' and concentrate on my own 'material'. Didn't happen. Itchy fingers. Click-click-click... Gumtree... Party Sounds... the lot. I ended up meeting a few people. Nothing clicked 100%, though.

So, that didn't work out. My fault, not anyone elses. Life happened. Shit, meet fan. Splat. I haven't touched Red in ages. I haven't found... made the time.

It's been a right old pity-party at Fillmore Heights lately.

That has to change.

That will change.

Just wait and see, eh?

A New Beginning

Well, I got the chance to speak with Jon last night and clear the air a bit. Whilst I'm not going to discuss what was said (for obvious reasons), one of the things that was mentioned was that perhaps it was too drastic to stop blogging entirely because of the situation. Also, I got a few supportive emails to say that I should carry on, but cut out stuff about the band unless it was only relevant to me.

In all honesty, the 'Zero to Hero in a year' aspect of things is coming to a close. We're hurtling headlong towards Xmas and from there it's a short downwards spiral to the New Year. So, what I'm considering doing is writing a more graceful close-out to the project... an end of year summary, if you like. Kind of like one of those god-awful 'so that was 2008' programmes! Yay! Lessons learned, blah, blah, blah. I've been meaning to read through the blog again myself, anyway, as a reminder of the journey.

After that, who knows. Perhaps a new blog? Similar content, different focus? Who can say. Watch this space, I guess.