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July 31, 2009

What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

Right then, what's going on here?

What is the frequency?

I keep asking myself that question and keep coming up empty. "The Project" was the driving force behind me getting out there, playing with other people, getting in a band, the whole nine yard, and, AND, if I don't finish off this sentence sooner or later I'm going to...

Okay, so the other day Tim said something to me which I took issue with, though, on reflection, there was a core of truth to it.

I mentioned what a cheeky sod Col, over on Axe Victim dot com was for linking here with the tag line: "Kenny’s lame old blog that he can’t be bothered to keep up."

[ gotta love Col's directness, eh?]

Tim said that he agreed with Col and that the difference between him and me, apart from the CHASM between our ages and waistlines (sorry, Col, couldn't resist!) was that for him, music, playing, writing was a serious business. For me [here comes the sucker punch] it's just a hobby.

Now, I'm a Leo. Whilst I don't subscribe to all that horrorscope (sic) crap, I do admit that I have a bit of a stubborn streak and I don't take criticism well.

[...especially if it's justified]

I don't see it as a hobby. I see it as a path. A path that, recently, I've wandered off. Now I'm staggering around, lost in a desert.

So, at the end of The Project I was in a band, or at least playing with other people. I was having fun. I was starting to feel plugged in. Air was moving. Then along came politics and incompatibilities and it all went to ratshit, as these things do, I'm told.

After that, I decided to take a break from 'other people' and concentrate on my own 'material'. Didn't happen. Itchy fingers. Click-click-click... Gumtree... Party Sounds... the lot. I ended up meeting a few people. Nothing clicked 100%, though.

So, that didn't work out. My fault, not anyone elses. Life happened. Shit, meet fan. Splat. I haven't touched Red in ages. I haven't found... made the time.

It's been a right old pity-party at Fillmore Heights lately.

That has to change.

That will change.

Just wait and see, eh?


Fatty said...

Kenski said...

Thanks for the link, Fatty.

I've been thinking about 'direction' alot lately and the ABB have been on my mind. I feel a new post coming on. I must be on a roll!

Furtheron said...

time..... yes

I need to get my arse in gear - I've some interest from similar aged and similar minded musos - some with good backgrounds and what have I done... nothing, sodded off to a festival and not called them back.

I hate my procrastinating nature - I hate the fear now enveloping me that this'll not work... only it won't work cos I won't put the effort in! Blah blah blah... I'll not call Col he'll give me a slagging off.... :-)

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