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December 7, 2008

Move Along, Nothing To See Here...

...that's it, I'm done. All gone.

Well, overall I think I can honestly say that (at 2:30 on a Saturday night/Sunday morning after a few vodka tonics) the project has been an unmitigated disaster. Rock God? No. Not in any way, shape or form. I've met some people along the way, had some good times, but really... when all's said and done, well, it's all said and done.

So... so long and thanks for all the cheese.



It's 12 hours later, I'm sober (so far... it's early). Here's a bit more of an explanation than I gave above.

I was feeling pretty stupid last night. I still am. I started this blog as a motivational tool to keep me focused on the job of getting into a band in 2008. Well, I got into a band... me and 4 other great people. At that point I should have signed off, said thanks to everyone for all their support and halted the blog, or at the very least changed the subject matter to make it less personal. I'll admit, though, that I was hooked on blogging. I discovered that I enjoy the process of putting my thoughts into words and had come to feel a part of the 'blogging community'. I allowed myself to believe that it was important for me to maintain my so-called 'journalistic integrity'.

So, against better judgement I chose to continue blogging about what was going on in the band each session, chronicling how things were coming together or not, as the case may be. It's obviously not an anonymous blog but none of the other band members had mentioned that they knew about it, which is fair enough. I wrote it, I put it in the public domain. I take full responsibility for anything I said.

So, you can guess the punchline. I wrote stuff based on my perception of what was going on and I was utterly frank about it. I showed no real consideration of what the other band members' feelings would be if they read it and that was foolish, to say the least. I guess in some ways you get sucked into the ego trip that is blogging and you simply say what's on your mind, not really considering the what the fallout might be. The fallout from blogging about the band is that I may have now only ruined my friendship with one of the band-members but I may also have ruined his friendship with the other guys aswell, having portrayed them in an unjustified bad light. They're not malicious people and I believe they didn't want to talk to Jon in an upfront matter because they wanted to get consensus before potentially hurting his feelings. I hope to try to mitigate any of the damage I've caused but as yet I don't know whether that's even possible at this stage.

So, with 24 days of 2008 left I'm pulling the plug on "The Fillmore Five Project".

The band situation is unresolved, but clearly I can't write honestly about it here for fear of doing more damage than I already have. If I can't write the truth then there's no point in writing at all, right?

Will I blog again, oh loyal 5 or 6 readers? Perhaps. I don't know. My obsession with musical advancement was really the driving force behind this effort and since that option has been removed I don't really know what I have to talk about that anyone would take the time with... how the cat is responding to his asthma medication? Doubt it! The new stationary they ordered in at my office? Thrilling stuff...

So. Here it is. The End. I really do want to thank all of you guys who've shown so much support over the past 12... let's make that 11 months. Without the advice/breaks you've given me I doubt I'd have come as far as I have.

So, once again it's time to say... so long and thanks for all the cheese.

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